Saying No is such a biggie for so many people and I certainly know all too well about that. It requires courage, trust in self and willingness to change and stand your ground.
Yes! Saying No can literally change our lives. Here's why.
It's The Opposite of How we've been functioning
Saying no for most of us, is contrary to what we would normally do. Generally speaking, we've been conditioned and raised to be people pleasers and do what was was or is required of us so we could get validation, approval or receive love from either one of our parents or the people who matter to us the most when we were growing up.
Once this behaviour is set, it becomes part of our Karma or Karmic wheel. As a people pleaser or someone who needs approval in order to feel they matter, saying no can be quite a challenge and can cause feelings of guilt and shame.
However, if we're aware of our people pleasing tendencies, need for approval and have difficulties saying no, we can totally overcome that, create new habits and release the approval seeking energy that's blocking us from moving forward
Practicing The Feeling of Saying No
So stop for a minute and imagine how it would feel to actually say no when you would normally say yes. Play this scenario especially with friends and loved ones. Don't worry about how they would react or feel, right now focus on just experiencing the feeling of saying no.
In most cases, at first the feelings of guilt and shame will manifest themselves and we'll feel like we're a bad person for having said no. We've been so used to seeing ourself as good only when we did what was expected of us to keep others happy and this is very new and foreign to us.
Now what we need to do is allowing yourself to feel guilt and shame of saying no and be ok with it. We must get used to the feeling. Yes, it will be challenging but if we're determined to stop letting others take advantage and manipulate us, if we really want to step into our personal power and be the best version of ourselves, we've got to ride this wave!
It's not just about saying no to others, it's more about saying yes to ourselves and loving ourselves a little bit more.
Although self love can seem like a natural thing to do for oneself, few of us indulge in this practice and it can feel quite awkward at first and sometimes we'll feel selfish for doing so. But be committed and keep practicing saying no until the feeling of self love becomes natural and overpowers the feelings of shame and guilt.
When we're ready, we'll let go of the need of approval which in the end will never bring us the feeling of love we're so longing for.
Get Ready To Face Criticism
On of the quickest ways to break habits, change our beliefs and create a breakthrough is to do the opposite of what we're used to do. We have to be willing to accept the challenge and honour our feelings in the process. Friends and family are going to be the first ones to notice the new you and question it.
They are so used to the old version and our new found power will scare the hell out of them so be ready to face criticism.
We'll know we're on the right track when suddenly people start asking us if we're ok and telling us that we've changed. When this happens, just smile inside and know that you're on the right track.
Whenever we claim back our personal power, we'll expose others fears and it will look like everyone is against us but we must keep loving ourselves and stand our ground. We're growing into who we're called to be and some thing just can't go with us as we rise to higher planes of awareness.
Saying No is healthy and necessary to our growth!