This might be the most uncomfortable blog post of my social life (LOL) but I'm not fitting in the comfort box anymore!
Memories of my childhood in Africa have been flooding my mind for the past week revealing to me why I do what I do. That's what happens when you mess up with hypnotherapy ha!
The little girl is not me but since I have no pictures to illustrate my story, I used this gorgeous princess.
Up to the age of 9, I was a little pageant princess in Africa. The women in my neighbourhood used to organise competitions where they would have us dressed in traditional outfits, do our hair, teach us how to walk down a catwalk, strike a pause...
It all happened in the streets because there was no catwalk as such, we had to walk down a path drawn on the ground with a stick.
The winner would be the one who walked down the catwalk the best and really worked it on that catwalk.
People would clap hands as we walked down as if to give a beat to our steps.
I loved it so much, the best memories of my life!
There was no prize for the winner except for a delicious meal cooked by the mamas and I can see myself eating a lot of times, so I'm not making this up when I say I used to win those little competitions. Hahaha still love my food!
We were taught to walk with our heads high, be proud, be the centre of attention for that short period of time and celebrated by our community. So I grew up with a lot of confidence and self-esteem.
At 9 years old, my dad moved us to France where I grew up until I moved to London 10 years ago!
The shock of my life!!!
Bye bye sunny Africa, hello freezing Europe!LOL
Very quickly, I had to adapt to a new school, new culture, French was not new so there was no language barrier...but it all happened very fast.
Still, the little princess was still there, moving differently, dressing differently, confident as Heaven!
Until they started telling her that it was not ok.
My teenage years were tough, I did not have many girl friends.
I started hearing things like: "who does she think she is", "she is so full of herself", "she is so proud", "she doesn't mix with anybody"
(They were right, I've always been very cautious with who I let in my entourage and those I let in are still my friends today <3)
Little by little I started walking with my head down, I didn't want to have any eyes on me or be the centre of attention or be talked about behind my back, I became shy and very quiet and just blended in.
But somehow, even in my silence, I always stood out. God knows why.
I believe I have a strong presence and no matter how much I try to hide it, I can never burry it.
I don't care if I come across as boasting, I'm really not!
You've got to know your strengths and I'm very aware of mine but just kept them to myself because of that fear of being seen as being too much.
I heard those same criticism in my adult years, some people would call me narcissistic, others say I was too proud, others yet that I was too posh, others too intelligent??!!
And I believed them, I took in the criticism and boxed myself in a safe cocoon...but the cocoon has expired!!!!
I want to apologize for not showing you the real me, you've just seen glimpses of me so far but I'm about to go unapologetic on ya'! With love as MJ would sa
The fact that I'm a Style Coach today and have been teaching Personal Branding (bet you didn't know that?) is not a chance, I was born for this shizzle and excel at it! I've just been playing safe.
I'm used to being in the spotlight and I must say, I love it! Not ashamed! And I need to feel comfortable being in the spotlight because I have a Divine purpose to fulfil. It's not about me, it's about you! About all that I can gift you with my presence and my love!